I was having a conversation with a friend about all the things that make me “me” and how it affects my life, perhaps adversely. His advice was “just be yourself”; an advice often given in such situations, but does it often work? Sometimes, you feel you have been yourself long enough but it hasn’t resulted in what you need it to. So I started thinking:
Anyone who has ever dealt with people -long enough to form a relationship, any kind of relationship like friendship, neighboring, business, etc., and even in our relationship with our family- understands compromise. We often give up pieces of ourselves, in order to comply or fit in with others, voluntarily. As simple as an outing with a group of friends, perhaps everyone wants to see a romantic movie, which you don’t like, but you go along anyway so you don’t end up watching an action movie on your own. There is no right or wrong about this, things are just either the way you like them (which is often ideal and improbable) or they are a compromise to something that all parties involved can “accept”. Is there a point to being yourself all the time, if it means that you don’t come to terms with anyone else most of the time?
Another thing to consider when being “yourself” is: what if you are a despicable jerk? Hehe ok I am just being dramatic, but let’s say that the whole of you include many bad habits that alienate people, or if you don’t care about alienating people, then at the least hinder you from achieving your ultimate goals, whether happiness or success, or inner peace. Does trying to be better go against “just being yourself”? Would it make a difference if you decide how you’d like to be better or if others told you what you should change? We can certainly change ourself to better in order to be happier and have people around us like us, but wouldn’t it mean so much more if we are accepted and liked for who we are, without stressing ourselves out to change?
There are definitely many questions in my head when it comes to self-identity, but as a main theme, I’d like to ask you:
1- Would you rather be yourself, to be true to yourself, or control who you are in order to fit in generally?
2- Should you accept yourself as you are or try to change for better?
Let me hear your own thoughts below, and don’t forget to subscribe and share if you like what you read!