Highlights of Arabnet Riyadh 2013

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Last week, I had the pleasure of attending Arabnet Riyadh conference and it was a great experience as I anticipated, as I have attended almost all of of Arabnet's conferences so far, and have written about them in my blog, and it was always worth it!

If you have attended the conference, you would've benefited from the great connections you make during as well as the useful content and knowledge you learn. If you didn't attend, then you would have probably benefited from the live coverage via Twitter through the hashtag #عرب_نت. If you also didn't catch up with the live coverage, then you can at least get to know what went down in the conference by reading my article on Wamda: 

Women's entrepreneurship and social media: the two hottest trends at Arabnet Riyadh

Did you attend Arabnet Riyadh? What did you think of it? What other conferences have you attended and liked? Leave your opinion and recommendations below, and please share this post for your peers to pitch in as well.

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Yes, your mind is playing tricks on you!

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I read this article, titled "8 Common Mistakes in How Our Brains Think and How to Prevent them", and the number one common mistake was: Confirmation Bias...

Away from psychology jargon that you may not be interested in as I am, confirmation bias is "when we proactively seek out information that confirms our existing beliefs". That hit me too closely that I had to tweet about it:

 

If when we believe in something, our brain only let us see what further supports our belief, how can we even call ourselves "open-minded"? Which lead me to this other quoted tweet:

I have always been fascinated with the world of psychology, with understand how the human mind works and how to take advantage of its strengths and avoid its pitfalls... More than anything, like any one of you I assume, I am interested in learning the tricks of the mind, which would allow me to live life happy and not fall into a trap where I am my biggest enemy and make my life miserable while being convinced it's just my bad luck, instead of actively trying to overcome my own mistakes.

Our minds play tricks on us, and it's most destructive when we don't realize it. But once we realize it, shouldn't that automatically make things better and make us overcome those tricks? Remember back to when you were a kid and saw your first magic trick... You were probably amazed, puzzled and believed it's more of magic than an actual trick. But once you grew up, and learnt how that trick is done, the "magic" was gone and you can now see things for what they really are... An entertaining and simple demonstration is seen in the following video:

But apparently, the mind is more treacherous than we realize. It is stubborn in sticking to its bad habits, even when we have come to acknowledge how bad they are. 

Then what we need is not only to know what the trick is, but why we choose to believe it in the first place... That underlying cause/motive/drive is the key to it all, and it's not something that can be easily uncovered... Some people spend years and years in psychotherapy in order to uncover such truths, and even then, the road to recovery is difficult and lengthy.

Without further rambling on, I want to commit to myself that:

1. I try to seriously look at the pure facts, instead of what my mind interprets of a happening. 

2. I separate myself from my mind in the times it tries to play tricks on me, and acknowledge the tricks even if I can't stop them from happening. 

3. Eventually, hopefully, perhaps, I trick my mind into not tricking me!

Is your mind playing tricks on you? And how are you trying to overcome them, if you are?

Just be yourself... or Don't?!

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I was having a conversation with a friend about all the things that make me “me” and how it affects my life, perhaps adversely. His advice was “just be yourself”; an advice often given in such situations, but does it often work? Sometimes, you feel you have been yourself long enough but it hasn’t resulted in what you need it to. So I started thinking:

Anyone who has ever dealt with people -long enough to form a relationship, any kind of relationship like friendship, neighboring, business, etc., and even in our relationship with our family- understands compromise. We often give up pieces of ourselves, in order to comply or fit in with others, voluntarily. As simple as an outing with a group of friends, perhaps everyone wants to see a romantic movie, which you don’t like, but you go along anyway so you don’t end up watching an action movie on your own. There is no right or wrong about this, things are just either the way you like them (which is often ideal and improbable) or they are a compromise to something that all parties involved can “accept”. Is there a point to being yourself all the time, if it means that you don’t come to terms with anyone else most of the time?

Another thing to consider when being “yourself” is: what if you are a despicable jerk? Hehe ok I am just being dramatic, but let’s say that the whole of you include many bad habits that alienate people, or if you don’t care about alienating people, then at the least hinder you from achieving your ultimate goals, whether happiness or success, or inner peace. Does trying to be better go against “just being yourself”? Would it make a difference if you decide how you’d like to be better or if others told you what you should change? We can certainly change ourself to better in order to be happier and have people around us like us, but wouldn’t it mean so much more if we are accepted and liked for who we are, without stressing ourselves out to change?

There are definitely many questions in my head when it comes to self-identity, but as a main theme, I’d like to ask you:

1- Would you rather be yourself, to be true to yourself, or control who you are in order to fit in generally?

2- Should you accept yourself as you are or try to change for better? 

Let me hear your own thoughts below, and don’t forget to subscribe and share if you like what you read!